Brittana scenes
by proudly4you
Summary: Drabbles of Brittana based on songs. So far they've been Taylor Swift Songs, but that might change. Enjoy-Favourtie-Follow-Review
1. I Knew You Were Trouble

I knew you were trouble.

"I think-I think when it's all over,  
It just comes back in flashes, you know?" I'm sitting crosslegged across from Kurt in our flat. It's raining and cold outside and we're waiting for Rachel to come home from school.  
"It's like a kaleidoscope of memories.  
It just all comes back. But she never does.  
I think part of me knew the second I saw her that this would happen.  
It's not really anything she said or anything she did,  
It was the feeling that came along with it." I don't know if I should go on or not.  
"And the crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel that way again.  
But I don't know if I should.  
I knew her world moved too fast and burned too bright.  
But I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel when she smiles at you?  
Maybe she knew that when she saw me."I take a deep breath in.  
"I guess I just lost my balance.  
I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing her.  
It was losing me."  
"Oh San, it's okay. I know you miss Brittany." He walked over to me and squeezed me in a big hug, and that's when the tears started falling out of my eyes.

Later that night, the wind is howling and the rain is pounding on the roof and I'm lying in bed, alone wishing I was elsewhere.

"Coach Sue, you asked to see me?"  
"Yes, I'd like to introduce you to our newest Cheerio. She'll be here in a minute." Sue and I were sitting in her office, she continued to go about whatever it is that she does, ignoring me as we both waited for our new Cheerio.  
After several minutes of waiting and being ignored, there was a knock on the door that entered into Sue's office.  
I look up and see the most magnificent Blonde staring back at me with the biggest most adorable blue eyes, she swiftly entered the office. I took the time to notice she had an amazing body. She must be an athlete, a dancer maybe? I could see the outline of her six pack through her thin, white shirt.  
"Hi, my name's Brittany. This school is really cool!" She said, holding her hand out to me first.  
I sat there dumbstruck, holy shit, here comes trouble. She's amazing!  
"Oh, um. I'm Santana," I shook her extended hand.  
"You are totally unicorn." She swayed her long, blonde hair in the direction of the door and it gathered gracefully down her back. She was pure fabulous.  
"Welcome to McKinley, welcome to my Cheerios squad," Sue said, standing up to face Brittany over top of me.  
"Thanks, you must be Coach Sylvester."  
"That's me. Now, if you think this will be easy, think again. I keep my Cheerios looking good and performing good at all times."  
"Yes Coach. I can't wait to work with you."  
"For me, Brittany. You do as I say. Now get out of my office." Brittany just stood there, she wasn't quite sure of what to say, or do for that matter.  
"That's just how she talks. I'll show you round." I say, leading the way down the now empty halls of McKinley High.  
We were nearly half way through my 'Fantastic Tour of the Hell Hole that is McKinley' as I referred to it, and Brittany extended her pinkie out to mine. I was caught off guard, feeling not myself so I extended my pinkie and we finished the tour linked together.

I liked her, I knew that...it was just I wasn't sure of how much I liked her and I didn't want to admit to anything, because I didn't want to have to commit to something. I have commitment issues, I'll be the first person to admit that. I like casual sex, no talking, no eye contact...not relationships with feelings.  
I think I was scared, because I always knew that it wouldn't work...that I'd finally become committed to something, and then she'd leave...take a step back, without me. She was easy going and didn't care much about what other people thought. I guess I liked that. I needed someone like that, to help me grow as a person.

I learnt everything about Brittany. She transferred from Jasmine Heights, where she was a cheerleader for their squad. She is a dancer, I picked that one and she's very fit. She lives with both of her parents and they're both supportive of her pursuing a career in dancing. She has a cat; Lord Tubbington, he's a drug dealer that reads her diary. She told me one day she hopes to host a Internet talk show. I wasn't sure if it was, but I told her that's a great idea.  
She's probably not the sharpest tool in the shed, she left her old school because everyone tormented her; saying she's stupid. I would never call her that, not in a million years. She means too much to me already.  
She's already met Quinn, they like met at a cheer camp or something. Things kind of felt weird when she was talking about Q. Like there was something I didn't know.

"Hey Santana, it's Brittany."  
"Yeah Britt I know, what's up babe?" I say, perfecting my pedicure as I cradeled the phone in between my shoulder and neck.  
"I want to take you somewhere."  
"Where are we talking, B?"  
"Just somewhere. Somewhere you've never been before." She sounded certain and genuine on the phone.  
"Alright, I'll meet you at yours. See you soon!" I hang up the phone an grab a pair of flip flops, to match my black skinny jeans and bright red shirt and race out the door, jumping into my car.

That day Brittany took me to a place that I had never been to, she took me to a cute little cafe a few hours out of town. We laughed and sang, while we drove, it was an amazing trip. She can really sing...there simply isn't anything she can't do. Sing dance, cheer. She can just do it all. It was that day I realized I loved Brittany. More than a friend. It was also that day the war inside me began.

"Where are we going, San?! Just tell me!" I was driving my car with Brittany at my side, her pinkie locked with mine.  
"You'll see!" I giggled.  
We spent the day sitting on the riverbank, just talking and laughing. We grabbed some fish and chips from a shop near by for lunch, and ice creams for the trip home. It was the perfect day. She put her arm around me, as we stared at the water. It was just a beautiful day, I felt safe and protected in Brittany's arms, like all the bad things in my life couldn't touch me.

"Quinn, Brittany, Santana! Come here!" Coach Sue yelled during a practice one afternoon.  
"Yes Coach?" Q asked, as we approached Sue.  
"Follow me." She replied, before waking off, not bothering to check if we were actually following her.

When we arrived at our destination, I found we were at one of the top seats of our Auditorium. The Glee Club was on stage when we got there, singing Journey's 'Don't Stop Believing.' I only know the song because it's Papi's favourite.  
Finn, who's Quinn's boyfriend was singing and making gooey eyes at the Dwarf.  
"Is that Rachel Berry?" Brittany whispers to me, halfway through the song.  
"You mean Dwarf? Yeah, that's her." I whisper back. Brittany tries to hide a giggle at my remark, but doesn't do it very well. Earning her a glare from one Sue Sylvester.  
Quinn just stands there, I'm sure there are a million things rolling over in her head, ways to make sure that Berry never lays an eye on her man ever again, but that's Q and no one ever really sees inside her mind.

I look back now, from here in New York and I have this fear...it's a sad fear that maybe Brittany never loved me...Or Quinn, or Sam or Artie. Or anyone. I always knew she was trouble, and that she'd bring trouble.


	2. Begin Again

**Hey guys! This is a short one, but I think it's cute. Ahaha. **

**Anyway, I should be able to update every day at least because these are really easy to write and I'm at home from school all week. :) **

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I tie my blonde hair into a small bun on top of my head. I take a step back and stare at the mirror before taking a deep breath and thinking to myself 'This is it. Today is the day you tell Santana about your last boyfriend, and about your feelings for her.' I hang my Cheerios uniform from that day on the back of my door and walked back to my mirror.  
My gold, strappy heels are another reminder of Brad. He never liked it when I wore heels. "What if you break your ankle? You won't be able to dance then! And besides you're tall enough as it is." He used to say. They were just some of the excuses, he'd always find one to sling at me before I left the house.

I walk to my car and put my ear phones in, Hilary Duff's Come Clean was blasting in my ears. Another thing Brad didn't like, he said he didn't 'get' this song, that it was just old and boring. I know it's an old song, but it speaks to me in a way that no other does. It's my emotions wrapped up and coming out of the mouth of a blonde hotter than I am. What couldn't be good about it?

When I reached the cafe, I thought Santana would be her usual late self and I'd be waiting around for her. I was wrong, she was early. When she spotted me she stood up out of the booth and waved to me. She was wearing knee high black boots with a skin tight red dress. She looked amazing.  
She ushered me into the booth opposite her, holding my bag for me as I slid into the booth. She doesn't know how much it means to me to be treated like that.

After a half an hour of casual chatting, I've got Santana in stitches, she throws her head back when she laughs, it's kind of cute. I didn't think she'd find me this interesting or funny, Brad never did.  
She told me about her James Taylor CDs and was extremely shocked when I told her about my secret collection.  
"No way! I've never met anyone with as many of his CDs as me before! This is something I have to see for myself, you have to show me next time I'm round at yours, B."  
"Sure thing!" I said, secretly hoping that next time Santana came to my house we would be dating. I've only known her a few months, but something's seriously there.  
For the last eight months, since I broke up with Brad I thought that I'd never find love again, but that was okay with me because after dating him it seemed like a horrible, twisted thing that just breaks and falls apart anyway.

"You should come to my place this Christmas, B." I was taken aback by her statement.  
"That's a bit random..." I say, giggling.  
"We'll seriously, every Christmas we get a bunch of Christmas movies and spend hours watching them while eating heaps of junk food. I'd really like you to be there..." Her voice trailed off and she looked away.  
I tried to lighten things a little bit.  
"What movies do you watch?" I asked.  
"Oh you know, all the classics." She winked. "It's a wonderful night, miracle on 34th street. Those types."  
"Sounds awesome. I will have to talk to my family, but I'd love to." I hold my pinkie out for Santana as we walk to her car.  
I was about to bring up Brad, and my feelings for her. But decide not to. It's been a great afternoon and I don't want to ruin it. We can always talk about it another time.

"I'll see you tomorrow. San, I had a great afternoon. Hey, tomorrow's Thursday...we have Cheerios practice!" I call out, before turning and heading towards my car.  
Maybe I should give this love thing a shot. This Wednesday afternoon has changed my views about this kind of stuff. I think I really, really do like her. I don't know, but today's been the best Wednesday I've had in a long time.


	3. Mine

"Hummel, Berry...I'm home!" I call out, not expecting a response.

"Are they here?" The redhead behind me questions.

"Nah, we're all clear. Come in!" I say, waking through the apartment, dumping my bag on the kitchen table as I passed into my bedroom. I met this girl when I was in a bar, looking for a job.

"You need a job, with that body?" She asked, watching me walk away from the manager.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked, obviously flirting with her.

She batted her eyes and replied, "Well a pretty young thing like you, in New York, needing a job. It surprises me. If I had that body I'd just be a hooker!" She joked.

"You're not too bad yourself you know." I winked.

"Really now?!" We spent the afternoon chatting and talking about anything and everything. She told me about her pets and where she works. She's a live in nanny for a couple in a high rise apartment. Apparently it's a real nice place. There's two twin babies that she looks after, Nellie and Lucy.

"This is my bedroom," I say, gesturing to the space behind the make shift wall in our apartment.

"Cool, nice place." She laughed.

"Mmm, want to check my bed out?" I winked, before bending over to give her a hint of what she'd miss, should she say no, while moving a pillow.

"With an ass like that, hell yeah I do!" She said, before taking my face in her hands and kissing me passionately.

The sex was phenomenal. She was amazing, she knew exactly what to do to make me feel good and the screams she let out we're a good indication I wasn't too bad myself. She screamed my name, while frantically panting and moaning, it was amazing. I was dripping before she even touched me.

Belle stayed the night at my house, telling me she didn't have to work tomorrow either because the family had gone interstate for a funeral.

I remember the first time Brittany stayed at my house.

"Hey, my parents have gone out for the weekend. You wanna come over babe?" I was on the phone to Brittany, we've become even closer. I didn't even think that was possible, but she hasn't stayed at my place yet.

"Yeah sure, San. I'll be over soon. Bye." She hang up the phone and I jumped up to clean. I knew we're super close and she doesn't care about the state of my house, but I wanted it to be tidy for when she comes around.

Twenty minutes later there were several musical knocks at my door and I knew Brittany had arrived.

"Gee, is my door a piano or something? Joining Glee Club has taken its toll on you!" I joked.

"I have music in my soul Santana!" She laughed back.

We spent the afternoon painting our nails and talking about boys. She said she's only ever slept with Puck, and some other guy named Brad.

"Brad was my ex boyfriend. We met at school and then realized we were both Cheerleaders and things went from there. We had sex at Cheer Camp last year. We broke up though, a few months before moving here. Looking back now he wasn't a nice person, really."

"You lost your virginity at Cheer Camp?!" I exclaimed.

"Yep, lost the big V at Cheer Camp! Sue's Cheerios we're at that camp, I didn't see you. Or maybe it was because I didn't know you..."

"Oh, I know the camp you're talking about. I was there! The one in January?"

"Yeah, that one." She replied. "That's so weird. We were at the same camp and had no idea. Weird!" Brittany got really excited about that.

"Hey Britt-Britt do you remember when we were sitting there by the water, and you put your arm round me for the first time?"

"Yeah?" She questioned.

"I really enjoyed that day, babe." I replied.

The night went on and we found ourselves surrounded by pizza boxes and empty vodka bottles. I glanced over to the digital clock on the kitchen counter. 1:56am it read.

"Hey Brittany?" I ask, as we're laying on the couch. "Yeah San?"

"Can you believe it?"

"Believe what?"

"That, I can do this!" I say before jumping on top of her and pulling her shirt up, revealing her to bear stomach and breasts. I began to kiss up her stomach, placing my soft lips on all of her abs before caressing her right breast.

"Ohh, San." She murmured. Sweet Valley High was still playing in the background, but I wasn't very focused on that.

We started to make out, our lips constantly crashing over the others. Our tongues played games and danced with each other, before I pulled away and started making my way back down her bare breasts and stomach.

She moaned my name again and I could feel the wet that was building in my own centre.

I came to her trousers and gently tugged on them, pulling them to her ankles to her reveal her naked half to me. I glanced up at the blonde, a questioning eyebrow.

"What? It's pants off Friday." She replied.

I took this as a legitimate excuse and began circling her clit in my thumb and forefinger. She began panting faster and moaning more frequently and I knew I was doing it right.

I delved one finger into her warm silky wetness and she groaned. I pulled out my digit, saturated in her juices and thrust it back in. I picked up a pace and just kept going. She started moaning and yelling my name, "Oh! Oh Santana!" She screamed as she finally reached her climax and I felt the walls of her vagina tightening around my now two digits inserted in the blonde. She began to tremble all over, her orgasm crashed over her like a wave as I kept pushing my fingers in and out, until the grabbed my wrist and signaled me to stop, she'd had enough.

As she got over her orgasm, she flipped us over, positioning her body over mine and began the same routine to me. Kissing my stomach, my breasts, my mouth before making her way into my underwear. I increasingly became more aware of the wetness inside me as she played with my clit, occasionally bowing down to lick and bite it. It was the most amazing experience I'd ever had, much better than any of the casual sex I'd had with guys. This was so much better.

She made me scream, moan and grunt in ways that I'd never done it before. I couldn't help but to scream her name. "Oh God! God! Brittany! Fuck!" I'd screamed. It was fantastic. She left me panting and sweating when she finally climbed off me to fetch us some more drinks.

When she left the room I got up and washed my hands. When I entered the lounge room, she still wasn't back from the kitchen and her phone vibrated. Who texts at this time of the night? It's 2:10am, according to B's phone, but I swore we had sex for longer than fifteen minutes.

The message was from Q. 'Did you tell her?' Tell me what? What's there to tell? I'm confused.

"Brittany?" I call out.

"What's up, S?"

"What does Quinn mean, 'Did you tell her?'" I ask.

"W-what?" She replies, I can hear her coming towards the lounge room.

"She sent you a text and I didn't mean to read it, but..I did. I'm sorry."

"She...I...me, her."

"What are you saying Britt?"

"We...Cheer Camp."

"What about Cheer Camp?"

"Well...I did lose my vir-" She stuttered. "My virginity at Cheer Camp, only it was to..."

"Brittany." I say.

"I had sex with Quinn."

"What?!" I yell.

"I didn't know you then, and it was just a once off thing and Brad doesn't know, I'm sorry." I ran out of the house, into the cold of the night, and stopped in the middle of the street. Bracing myself for the goodbye, the goodbye I knew was coming. Goodbyes are all I've ever known.

"San, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"Was she better than me? You can do it, just go. Run off and be with fucking Quinn!" I scream.

"Santana, I don't want Quinn. I want you, I promise I'll never leave you alone." She takes a deep breath. "I like what we have and I don't want to lose it. I really like you, San. Not Quinn. She was just a hook up, a one time thing. I swear."

"So you have no feelings for the pretty blonde, who's head cheerleader and has bigger boobs than me?"

"San, babe, you're so beautiful. I think you're perfect. The reason I like you is become you're just you." She took my pinkie and we walked back towards the house.

When we're inside I settled down on the couch with the most beautiful blonde in my arms. We both fell asleep after a few more Sweet Valley High episodes.


	4. The Last Time

**Hey guys! Another update; how exciting?! **

**I actually cried when writing this, I'm such a sook. Ahaha, I'd recommend listening to the song while reading. :) **

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Santana's POV

I can't believe I'm here, in Lima. I don't know how I got here. I mean I know I got on a plane and all that yadayada, but I don't know how I ended up Brittany's door.

I hope she's upstairs, all alone. So she can look into my eyes, with her bright blue eyes and make everything feel better. I really need to see her. She won't return my calls. Ever since she went away to MIT on early admissions. I haven't spoken to her. I hate it, and I hate myself for leaving her the first time, and I hate myself for letting her go the second time. I saw on Facebook she's on a break after exams or something and she's back in Lima, so I booked the next flight and here I am.

I hold my breath and knock our secret knock onto her front door. I look up toward her bedroom window and can't help but smile when I see those adorable eyes looking down at me. Less than a second after the eyes disappear from the window the front door is opened and she's panting like a dog. She jumps on me and gives me a massive bear hug.

"I can't remember the last time I made you pant like that, B." I smirk.

Brittany makes us some tea and we sit in her lounge room.

"Brittany, I want to work on our relationship. I want to get it back."

"San..." She started.

"Britt, this is the last time I'm asking you this...Will you please forgive me for being an idiot and leaving you? And for being an even bigger idiot and letting you go? I want to be with you."

Brittany's POV

"Lord Tubbington, we need to talk about this! Don't walk away from me. I know you don't like me going away, but you-" I was interrupted by a knock on the door. It wasn't just a knock though, it was our knock. I race to my window and sure enough, there's Santana standing on my door stop! I couldn't believe it, I ran out of my room and down the stairs and pull the front door open all in the same second. I was panting like Lord Tubbington when he borrows my treadmill. I jump on the Latina and wrap her up in my arms.

"I can't remember the last time I made you pant like that, B." she says, that sexy smirk of hers plastered on her face.

I walk to the kitchen and make us some tea and we sit in my lounge room to talk.

"Brittany, I want to work on our relationship. I want to get it back." Santana said, with a pleading look in her eyes.

"San..." I started.

"Britt, this is the last time I'm asking you this...Will you please forgive me for being an idiot and leaving you? And for being an even bigger idiot and letting you go? I want to be with you."

"Santana, you broke my heart, you know? All through high school I thought you were ashamed to be dating me, it wasn't even dating for the most part. It was just sex. I felt used, San. And then you left, and you let me leave. And I just don't know if I can go through that again." I pause.

"Britt, please. Give me one more shot, put me at the top of your list. We can work through this. I'm sorry for our past, I'm sorry you're aching. I am absolutely 100% willing to do this properly. Have an adult relationship, with you Brittany." I start to cry, she's being genuine but I don't want to go through all of this. My hearts had enough.

She holds her pinkie out and I link with her. That's the first time she's initiated the pinkie link. Wow.

I stand up, it's time for her to go. I have homework to do. I have so much to do, and I really don't want her to see me cry like a baby. I want to be her friend, but not like this.

"I'm sorry Santana, I think you should go. You've got it wrong."

"It's been you all along, Brittany. I need you." She has tears running down her cheeks.

"This is is the last time I'm letting you in my door. I need to move on. So do you. Goodbye Santana." She's standing outside my door and she's got that look in her eye again. It makes my heart melt and my tears flow faster.

"Fine. I won't hurt you anymore."

With that I close the door and run up to my bedroom, give Lord Tubbington the cold shoulder, flop down on my bed and just cry like there's no tomorrow. I miss her, but I did what was right. I can hear her sobbing outside and walk to my window. Hesitating before opening it.

Santana's POV

"I'm sorry Santana, I think you should go. You've got it wrong."

"It's been you all along, Brittany. I need you." My tears running down my cheeks again.

"This is is the last time I'm letting you in my door. I need to move on. So do you. Goodbye Santana." She's standing on the inside of the door and she's got that look in her eyes again, that look that says I'm sorry. just like that day when she didn't say she loved me back. It makes my heart break.

"Fine. I won't hurt you anymore." I say, right before she closes the door and I hear her foot steps go up the stairs. I sit on her front steps and start to cry. I just sit there, unable to move.

I can feel her eyes bore into the back of my eyes. She must be up at the window.

I was right, because I hear it open and brace myself for being told to leave.

"Why did you break my heart?" She asks. Her voice was hoarse from crying and I felt terrible. She's right, I started this. I broke her heart first, I shouldn't have treated her the way I did during high school.

"I love you Brittany baby." I say before walking down the stairs and toward the hotel I'm staying at.


	5. Sad, Beautiful, Tragic

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I come home from school and went straight to my bedroom, not bothering to acknowledge Lady Lips or Dwarf.

They both gave me questioning looks as I passed them, just like they have for the last week after I got home from visiting Lima. I spent three days in Lima, I visited McKinley and my parents. Found out that Tubs of Lard is in college, with Puck. Even though Puck's not actually enrolled, it seemed a bit weird to me, but that's 'My Man' as I used to call him, for you. He has plans to become enrolled though, which is good. I want him to get out of Lima, I know he can do better.

I stare at my Facebook newsfeed, to someone on the outside looking in it would appear I'm reading it, but I'm not really. Just staring at it, my mind is still in Lima.

I pull the hand written note out of my pocket. I don't know where it came from, or how she got it in to the hotel, it was just in my room when I got back from visiting Coach Sue and Mr Schue at McKinley.

'Dear Santana,

I'm sorry this has happened to us. I did love you, I'd be lying if I said I didn't. But I couldn't let my heart be hurt one more time like that. I've broken your heart before and you've broken mine, but neither of our hearts can handle that again San, trust me.

I hope that one day you will find the right woman for you, and you'll have beautiful children, with your deep brown eyes. They'll be the second most adorable children in the world. Mine take the top spot! I want to have a future with you, as friends, when I've finished College. I want my kids to grow up with 'Auntie Tana'. I want them to know about us, to know about what we used to have. I just hope you want your kids to have a little bit of Unicorn in their life.

I love you San. I'll talk to you soon.

I'm sorry things worked out this way.

Love, Brittany S. Pierce.'

Those words don't mean anything, this is like the day she chose Wheels over me happening again.

I cringe at the memory.

"I wanted to thank you for singing that song with me in Glee Club.'Cause it made me do a lot of thinking. And what I realized... What I realized is why I'm such a bitch all the time. I'm a bitch because I'm angry. Because I have all of these feelings. Feelings for you, that I'm afraid of dealing with, because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences. And Brittany... I can't go to an Indigo Girls concert. I just can't. Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?"

"Not really." She had replied.

"I want to be with you. But I'm afraid of the talks and the looks. I mean, you know what happened to Kurt at this school. I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. Still, I have to accept that... I love you. I love you a-and I don't want to be with Sam or Finn or any of those other guys. I just want you. Please say you love me back. Please."

I was so desperate that day. Singing Landslide with her just made me realize she really was the one for me. But, she didn't say she loved me back; she chose fricking wheels over me. And he was just a stupid boy.

My thoughts were interrupted by Kurt and Rachel waking into my room.

"Hey, lady lips, dwarf. Privacy, look it up in the dictionary." I say, looking out of the window and avoiding their eye contact.

"Santana, we need to talk." Rachel sounded shakey.

"Why? One of you dying? I want your shelf space in the bathroom."

"No. We're here to talk about you, actually." Kurt said.

"And what gives you the right to do that?" I question, raising an eyebrow.

"We're worried about you, San." Rachel rubbed my arm.

"Don't call me that!" I snap.

"What happened in Lima?" Kurt asked, signaling Rachel to stop touching me; thinking I didn't notice.

"Nothing. What makes you think something happened? Did Brittany call you? Was it Mr Schue? Who called you?"

"No one called us." Kurt whispered. "Why don't you tell us, we're your friends, Santana."

"Well, remember when I described mine and Brittany's relationship as a beautiful, magic love affair? It's turned into a beautiful tragic love affair."

"Oh, did you try to fix things?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah."

Kurt looked sympathetic. "Santana, I really am sorry."

"I have dreams about her and everything's fine and then I wake up all alone in a separate bed, in a different city. I just wish I could forget her, you know? Save myself some heartache. I feel like she has all these demons that look like me, and I have demons that look like her. Not only have I stuffed up my life, I've messed around with hers too."

"Oh, San. It really is okay. I'm sure she doesn't think you've messed up her life at all. No one could regret loving you, you're perfect and amazing and sometimes love just doesn't work the way it should."

"Thanks guys. I feel better talking about it. It just hurts knowing she doesn't want me back. I'll be okay though. She's made her decision."

"I'm going to make some hot chocolates. Do you want marshmallows Santana?" Rachel asks, standing at the door.

"Yes please Rachel." I say, suddenly feeling sorry for referring to her as Dwarf again earlier.

"I'm sorry I called you lady lips and Dwarf." I say.

"It's okay, Hun." Kurt gave my shoulders a tight squeeze as he walked past. I followed them to the lounge room and made myself comfortable on the couch while Rachel did the drinks and Kurt chose a movie.


	6. I Almost Do

**Hey guys! Another update! Yay! If I can stay wake long enough tomorrow I shall update again! No promises, I had surgery today and I'm on pretty strong painkillers. **

**Enjoy-Follow-Favourite-Review**

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I roll over and glance at the clock sitting next to my bed, my head feels groggy and I strain to keep my eyes open. The clock tells me it's just after 12 at night. I've slept for six hours...I had the worst dreams, Santana was here and we had a fight and I told her I loved her and then she died. It was horrible.

I fell asleep so early because I came home from school, with the biggest headache. I loaded up on painkillers and went to bed. I don't think my roommate was home when I went to bed, I can hear the even pattern of her breathing now though.

My roomie is a small girl, she's really, really smart. She's also an extremely nice person. We've become really close over there's past few weeks. She's always there when I need someone and I'm always there for her too.

We're not as close as San and I were though.

I bet she's still up now, San, that Is. Even at this time of night. I can imagine her sitting at her window, looking out at the bright lights of New York City. She'll be exhausted, after a week at school her body will be aching and she'll be moody and wanting sleep.

I'd put money on the fact that she thinks of me sometimes. I do still love her and I want to be with her but I just couldn't do it again.

I want to call her, to run to her and tell her I'm sorry and I do still love her...But I don't. I almost do, but know I won't actually do it. I need to look after myself. If this mess has taught me one thing, that's it. The Golden Rule. Sometimes you have to come first, you must learn to love and look after yourself.

She thinks I've moved on and I don't want anything to do with her, after that horrible day in Lima. Because she reached out and I said no, because she doesn't understand that I can't say Hello anymore and chance another Goodbye. That would kill me.

I'm not though, I still think about her all the time. It kills me. When I'm walking down the street and see a dress that makes me go 'Oh, that would look amazing on Santana's Ass.' Or when I walk in on Amanda and some guy and I quietly whisper the word "Wanky" before closing the door and going to get some coffee or heading to the library.

We've made such a mess of this relationship. It's like a bird that we held in our hands and we've crushed it, squeezed the life out of it. I don't regret it though, being with Santana...even when it was just sex has taught me so much, I'm a different person now and I have San to thank.

She has been there for me through absolutely everything. Ever since that first day when she showed me around the twists and turns of McKinley. She's been there for me in telling my parents I'm bi, when I thought I was pregnant, when Lord Tubbington was spreading rumors about me, or when he was doing drug deals in my house. Who else would do things like that for me? Only San. She'd always make sure I was okay. She was the person I'd call in the middle of the night, just to tell them I love them. I've never had that kind of relationship before. It was truly amazing.

I remember one night, I was lying in bed watching reruns of Jersey Shore and I got a call from San at 2:30am.

"San? Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yesh! Course I is fine...why, I was just calling to tell you I was drunk! Oh, and that I love you so so so so so feeaking much and I need ride home."

"Where are you, babe?"

"At Puck's...is you drive to me?"

"Yeah. You can stay at my house darling. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Britt, baaaaaabe. I lobe you. We have sexy time tonight. I make you screeeaaaam. Bye B!" She'd said, and I could hear Puck in the background, laughing at my girlfriend's inappropriate remark.

She was right, we had amazing sex that night. She sobered up a little bit and she fucked the absolute life out of me. I had like eight orgasms that night, she wasn't far behind either. My parents had gone away for the night. It was amazing. She woke up the next morning with the biggest hangover, but we had sex another couple of times after she'd taken some Advil. I loved those weekends when we'd spend most of them having sex. I loved her for every thing else as well, but holy shit. I've never had better sex than the sex I had with San.

I really want to be with her. It literally takes everything in me not to call her, tell her about my day. Ask her how she is. I almost do, I'm holding the phone in my hand.

After several minutes of deliberation I place it back in its holder.

It's probably better this way, we both need closure. This way she can move on, get a real girlfriend. Have an adult relationship.

I hope she's still up, looking out her window at the city lights, I hope she's tired from her long week. I hope she sometimes thinks of me.

I pull the blankets back over my cold body and go to sleep.

If I'm asleep, she can touch me and tell me everything's better in my dreams. I won't have to face reality while I'm asleep. My reality hurts too much. Missing San hurts too much.

I need to move on, and every now and then I almost do...


	7. Stay Stay Stay

"Do you have any poptarts?" Belle asked as she rummaged through the low food supply that we had in our kitchen.

"Yeah babe, there should be some right in the back of the pantry." I reply. Belle was in the kitchen and I was in the bedroom, changing the sheets and opening the curtains.

Belle and I have been dating for six weeks now. I called her up a few weeks after I got home from my visit in Lima. I think that technically makes her my rebound girl, but I do genuinely have feelings for her. Like real people emotions, not just 'I wanna fuck you' feelings. On my days off from school I've been going to the apartment she works at and helping with the twins. They're the most adorable babies I've ever seen. It really made me want children. I've only been through a phase of wanting children before. That was when I was with Brittany.

I was pretty sure we almost broke up that night.

"I just don't want kids, San! Not until I've made a career for myself, and we've got a stable life together!" Brittany said, standing on the opposite side of the room from me.

"How can you not want kids?! I want to have a family with you now!" At that point I there my phone across the room at her. I guess being a dancer gives her good reflexes. She ducked and the phone hit the bookcase she was standing in front of.

"Santana! Please calm down!" She laughed. Why was she laughing?! I was expecting Britt to walk out on me right then, turn and walk away. Never looking back because I was some psycho bitch. But she didn't. She stayed.

The next morning I conjured up the balls to talk about the night before. I read somewhere That you shouldn't leave a fight unresolved.

I was lying in bed and I could hear Brittany in her parent's kitchen. Britt's parents had gone away for the week and they asked me to come and stay with her. This was before they knew we were dating.

"B. babe, can you come in here a minute?" I called out, my voice was a little raspy because I'd only just woken up.

"I'm coming." She replied. I heard her messing about in the spare bedroom and suddenly she appeared in the bedroom door wearing a football helmet. "Okay, let's talk." She said. I couldn't help but laugh; she's such a dork sometimes.

"I'm sorry for getting mad at you last night. You were thinking sensibly and I wasn't." I sighed, patting the bed next to me. "I think you should stay. Don't leave me!" I whined.

"What was that San? Can you repeat that babe?" She teased.

"Stay! Stay! Stay!" I yelled, causing giggles to pour out of the blonde's mouth.

"As if I'd ever leave you. You're so funny when you're mad! There's no reason I'd leave you." She smiled.

"You know Britt, I'm so glad we're dating. Before you, I'd only dated douchebags. Pricks that take all their problems out on me. And it was hardly dating...more just sex. Like Puck, what a dick. Did you know when Quinn was pregnant, he told her to stop super sizing because he doesn't 'dig' on ft chicks? What a complete and utter dog." We both laugh, Puck was a douche. I can't believe we both slept with him. At least we hadn't had a threesome with him.

"I love you San, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone." Brittany says, removing the helmet from her head and cuddling into my side.

"I love you too Britt." I say, kissing her forehead.

"I made pancakes." She says, looking up at me with her amazing blue eyes.

"Yummo!" I wink, before pulling her out of bed with me.

"I need to have a shower." I say, after putting my breakfast dishes in the sink.

"Mmm, really? Because you know, I've found an awful coincidence, you see...I need to shower, and you need to shower. Maybe we should start saving the planet, one shower at a time and shower together." Brittany says, hugging her arms around my hips.

"Mmm, sounds good baby girl." I smirk.

After our 'shower', Britt and I settled down to watch a movie.

"I love you Brittany Susan Pierce." I said.

"I love you too, Santana Marie Lopez."

"I'm so glad you took the time to get to know me. Like really know me."

"I'm glad I did too. I love the side of you, that belongs privately to me." She laughed.

"I'm heading off to work now, San. Are you coming with today?" Belle asked, getting up from the table.

"Yeah. Lemme grab some shoes." I say, heading into my room to find my long black boots.


	8. Enchanted

Hi everyone, sorry for the wait. Had a crazy couple of months...Moved house twice, got suspended from school, went on work experience. It's been mayhem!  
Anyway, I have a new one, it's another Taylor Swift song- Enchanted.  
I'd really like some reviews! I need to know that somebody is reading these! I'll take song suggestions too, you can PM me or just leave it an a review.  
As always, enjoy!  
**Favourite-Follow-Review**

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Here I am. A new school. Forcing laughter and faking smiles as people passed me in the hallways.

I keep my walls up, people can't know me, just yet. I keep a vacant look as I pass by, trying not to attract attention to the new girl. The fresh meat. The halls start to clear out as a bell rings through the crowd.

I reach the red door with the name plate 'Sue Sylvester' and brace myself. She trains her Cheerios harder than any other squad in the country. And I slept with her head Cheerleader...but that's a story for another day.

I push the door open and step inside the office. It's small and there's a TV on the wall, it appears to be playing reruns of her Cheerios performances, but none of that matters to me. There, sitting in a chair less than two meters away from me is the most attractive girl I've ever seen in my life. She's tanned and has dark brown hair that match and compliment her beautiful eyes. Oh gosh, this really is embarrassing!

Pull your self together, Brittany!

"Hi, my name's Brittany. This school is really cool!" I say, holding my hand out to the girl.

She kind of sat there and stalled for a second, before replying.

"Oh, um. I'm Santana," She shook my hand. I inwardly face palmed when I realised I shook her hand. How lame can I get? She looked uncomfortable, I noticed she was checking out my abs. I have a feeling she's lesbian, or bi. I decide to take the idea and run with it.

"You are totally unicorn." I say. I sway my long, blonde hair in the direction of the door and it landed on my back. All my insecurities, and the vacancy I held just seconds before vanished when I saw her. She's amazing in the simplest word.

"Welcome to McKinley, welcome to my Cheerios squad," Sue said, standing up to face me over top of the Latino, still seated below us.

"Thanks, you must be Coach Sylvester."

"That's me. Now, if you think this will be easy, think again. I keep my Cheerios looking good and performing good at all times."

"Yes Coach. I can't wait to work with you."

"For me, Brittany. You do as I say. Now get out of my office." I just stood there, like a freaking idiot. I was unsure of how to respond to that. Luckily, the girl below me spoke up and saved me.

"That's just how she talks. I'll show you round." She said, leading the way down the now empty halls of McKinley High.

We were nearly half way through my 'Fantastic Tour of the Hell Hole that is McKinley' as Santana referred to it, and I decided to make a connection to her. I felt something about Santana, something that told me we'd be close. I extended my pinkie out to hers. She didn't automatically respond, but she linked her pinky in mine.

We enjoyed playful conversation, it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable...it was just kind of...fun. She's got walls and I have a feeling that maybe not everyone gets to know the real Santana. I also get the feeling that I will get to know the real her. She's so relaxed around me. She appears to be really bitchy and upfront with people. She was telling me about this girl, Rachel Berry.

"She is ridiculous, absolutely insane. She talks way too much and has the biggest mouth I've ever seen. She wears animal sweaters that look like they belong to a dead grandparent and tartan skirts that make her look like she's from some snooty private school."

"Really?!" I exclaim.

"Yeah. The girls a freaking hot mess. Avoid her at all costs, unless you're tossing a slushie at her ugly face."

"Wow. You really don't like her!" I giggle. "So, besides you...who else are the top bitches of the school?" Our conversation gives me the feeling you get when you're passing notes in secrecy. It feels like we shouldn't be discussing these things. It feels good, makes me feel... I don't know, so...alive.

"Quinn Fabray. She's head cheerleader. Her and I rule this place. People part like the Red Sea when we walk down the corridors."

"Hey, San?"

"Yes, B?"

"It was enchanting to meet you."

"You're so cute. Hey, what did you mean earlier...'I'm so unicorn'?" She asks.

I smirk, "Nothing!"

"Right...well. I've got to get to class, where's your fourth period?" She steals the paper out of my hand. "No way! You're in my Spanish class!" She laughs. "We'll go to your locker, then mine."

My dad picks me up from school that afternoon.

"Hey, Britt. How was your first day?"

"It was good. I think I'm going to like it here." I immediately start to blush and get embarrassed.

"Someone special already?" My dad questions, raising a concerned eye brow.

"Oh my god, dad. No! We're not having this conversation right now." I laugh.

I can't believe how utterly wonder-struck I am right now. I slide down into my seat and blush the whole way home.

She's kept me up all night. It's now 2 o'clock in the frigging morning and I'm lying here, wondering about who she loves. And if she's even capable of loving. From what I heard today, she's very into casual sex.

I can't stop thinking about her, wondering. Wondering if I have a chance, wondering where things will go. I wonder until I'm wide awake once again.

I sigh, it's going to be a long night.

It's now four...and I'm still sitting here. Hoping for some miracle so I can talk to her. Hoping she'll knock on my front door any second now... So I can open it, and she can tell me that she was enchanted to me meet me too.

As I was walking through the car park with Santana and Quinn I really wanted to tell Santana that I really hope this is the first page of what will become an amazing story to look back and tell. I don't want that to be where the story line ends. But, I didn't...because I don't want her to block me off from her and I don't want this to blow up in my face.

My thoughts will echo her name, until I can see her again. She is flawless, and I really hope that she's not in love with someone else. I don't want someone else waiting on her. I really want to get to know her some more.

That was all a long time ago now, and I don't know why I just thought of it. I seriously need to stop drinking wine and watching late night infomercials. My mind always wanders to Santana.

I get up off my couch and put my glass in the sink before jumping into my nice warm bed, thinking of all the homework I've got to finish before the end of the week.


End file.
